"So you took a picture of yourself sitting on the toilet? That's the kind of thing you want to put on "the internet"? (quotes added by me)

that's a lot of ass. don't know if I could deal with that but I might figure out some approach that would work....

2.5 yrs old and this quote is still worth its weight in gold.

dude I can eat a whole wheel of 'za. Especially that Cali Pizza Kitchen stuff. It's ridic how totes delish those pies are.

unlike jail, the cougars all go on Saturday mornings

bees in the limo, snake bite to the cock

Speculation based on a shadowy instagram photo posted 2 days ago? I'm Ron Burgundy? 😂😂😂💀💀💀